16 Conclusions from the Champions League Final

· 1) The archetypal Ryan Giggs performance. Again, an assist disguised the fact that his contribution is perennially overstated.

· 2) I’m not altogether sure that I’m interested in a world in which Edwin van der Sar is a former footballer.

· 3) That said, he screwed up for the first two goals. Particularly, the positioning on the first was uncharacteristically poor.

· 4) Rooney’s shitty Roy of the Rovers complex is one of the reasons he will never be a great player.

· 5) Park’s effectiveness as a defensive forward plummeted as the game wore on – in the first half he attempted five tackles and made three interceptions, in the second half that fell to one apiece.

· 6) Ferguson made a mistake in deploying acclaimed 2010 Cuban jazz animation Chico & Rita up front with Rooney.

· 7) Xavi and Messi will understandably take all the plaudits, but Ibrahim Afellay was the real star of the match with a 100% pass completion rate.

· 8) Dani Alves is descended from velociraptors.

· 9) Manchester United did that Football Manager thing where a CPU-controlled team scores their only shot on target against the vastly superior human-controlled team. A small victory.

· 10) Something about Cesc Fábregas.

· 11) For such a bad loser, Alex Ferguson was unusually magnanimous in the immediate aftermath.

· 12) It’s probably a little early to be making grand statements about this Barça side’s place in the pantheon. Like with Messi’s status among the greats, we need to wait until they’re history before we can put them in historical context.

· 13) A joke about Busquets.

· 14) Carrick was pretty good.

· 15) Valencia didn’t trouble Abidal nearly enough, but he did show himself to be all kinds of menacing badass.

· 16) Watching Nemanja Vidić cry was as heartbreaking as it was unexpected. Like watching liquid amber ooze from a granite cliff-face.

Subverting the Pyramid

Since Inverting The Pyramid was published there’s been an increase in the number of football tactics blogs. For a while, and perhaps to an extent it’s still the case, talking about formations and strategies was a mark of the well-informed football fan.

In football writing, though, not only does every action have its reaction but every reaction has its angry and unreasonable backlash. Sure enough, no sooner had tactics become vogue than they became the hollow preserve of the elitist, the soulless and the pretentious. Then those uninterested in tactical analysis became, in turn, mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers with nothing to say about football beyond “I liked the bit when the ball went in the goal”. In the centre of it all lies the idea that someone is losing sight of what football is really about.

So what is football really about? Is it entertainment? Art? Is it drama, science, comedy, narrative or romance? It’s all of these things, and it’s none of them. There are a billion different sides to football and a million angles from which to survey each of them. That’s what football blogging is for. One aspect may, however briefly, become more popular than the others, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the only aspect, or that anyone would wish it to be so. Yes, it’s unfair for tactics bloggers to view others as gormless Neanderthals (though I’ve yet to encounter one who does), but it’s equally unfair to paint anyone as sterile and aloof just because their chosen interest involves more chalkboards than highlights reels (or whatever).

It’s a shame, anyway, that the breadth and diversity that can make the football blogging experience - and if I ever describe it as a “rich tapestry” you have my permission to forcibly remove me from the Internet – so interesting and progressive is often drowned out by sniping and sneering over who’s taking football too seriously, and who isn’t taking it seriously enough.

We'll never lose sight of what football is really about, because football is about everything.

Team of the Season

The best players in the Premier League were so immediately obvious that we didn't even need to watch any football after November. Congratulations to Chelsea.

Goalkeeper: Joe Hart (Manchester City)

Yet to concede a goal in his professional career, Hart is already the world’s best goalkeeper and, given that injuries and losses of form never happen to English keepers, will be in the Team of the Season for the next ten years.

Right-back: Wayne Rooney (Manchester United)

Easily the world’s best player until the invention of Barcelona in February 2010, Rooney has the drive, passion and commitment to play in any position on the pitch, or even two positions at once.

Centre-back: Jonny Evans (Manchester United)

Sir Alex Ferguson faced a difficult choice in 2008 over which young centre-back to sell. Boy, did he ever make the right choice.

Centre-back: Dr Richard Stearman (Wolverhampton Wanderers)

Contributed hugely to Wolves staying in the Premier League last season, as well as maintaining his own status as the world’s leading authority on knee surgery.

Left-back: Gareth Bale (Tottenham Hotspur)

Well, duh.

Right-midfield: Samir Nasri (Arsenal)

So good in the first half of the season that it is literally impossible for that form not to be replicated for the next six months/ten years.

Central midfield: Stephen Ireland (Aston Villa)

Swapping him and six billion pounds for James Milner was such a stupid move that Roberto Mancini should be immediately fired. Anyone who thinks this anything other than a brilliant Villa wheeze is a fucking moron.

Central midfield: Yaya Touré (Manchester City)

The lung-splitting intensity of Ireland will need to be balanced out, and for this we need look no further than Touré, the most conservative of Roberto Mancini’s trademark eight holding midfielders. Though he joined from Barcelona he doesn’t have the technique of Spain’s Xavi Iniesta, and he’s unlikely to pop up with a crucial goal, but the dour Ivorian wardrobe fits in perfectly with Manchester City’s catenaccio (Italian for “defending a one-goal lead”).

Left-midfield: Hatem Ben Arfa (Newcastle United)

Signed for a handful of dinero from French lower-leaguers Olympique Marseillaise, Ben Arfa was something of an unknown quantity until he scored a goal, whereafter he became a hotshot young maverick set for the very top, top of the world game.

That Crucial Position In The Hole Behind The Striker: Wayne Rooney (Manchester United)

Told you.

Striker: Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

Scored a hat-trick on the opening day as Chelsea beat West Bromwich Albion 6-0 on their way to winning the Premier League title in August.

Manager: Martin O’Neill (Aston Villa)

Fiercely loyal, O’Neill is never one to back away from a challenge. The fact that Aston Villa have among the highest wage bills and net transfer outlays in the league shows just how big a club they have become under the Ulsterman’s stewardship. His revolutionary “cut inside and swing a deep cross toward the back stick” strategy has helped mark O’Neill as one of the great tactical minds of the twenty-first century.

Odd Numbers Everywhere

The manager looked at this shaggy-haired fan, but what he saw mostly was his emotional scar. He imagined what the fresh cut must have looked like as the fan left the stadium, and how much financial prudence and consistent Champions League qualification it would take to sew it up. “Why do you care? I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?” The fan could not understand what it was that the manager didn’t understand. Was this sensible man simply being faithful to his ideological calling and trying, like the others, to make a fan submit? “Don’t you understand?”

This already went beyond the manager-supporter relationship, but the manager, with the unpretentiousness that the fan had detected in him and appreciated from the first, spoke in a softer, unprofessional voice, as to an old friend.

“Listen. Surely trophies aren’t the only attraction in football. You can get awfully tired of all that. It just gets in the way of creating something beautiful.”

He said it quite sincerely, even wearily. He remembered that at the most important moment in his life he had been unable to muster beautiful football, perhaps just because of this distracting drain on his energies.

But the fan could not understand him. He, now, could not imagine being tired of such a feeling. He shook his head from side to side, and his eyes gazed blankly:

“There’s nothing else beautiful left in watching football.”

Such a conversation was not provided for in the procedures of a meet-the-players event at the training complex. Consultations to discuss the meaning of football – and with the manager of the team, at that – were not in the schedule. A slight, frail French midfielder looked in and then immediately entered, swaying as he walked in his soft shoes. Without hesitating, he went straight to the manager, right up to him, placed a match report on the desk; without addressing him by either name or title, he said:

“Look, Koscielny has a header success rate of 50%”

A light puff of his windblown black hair hovered directly in front of Arsène Wenger’s face.

Adapted from The Cancer Ward by Aleksandr I. Solzhenitzyn.

Norwich 1-0 Middlesbrough: Canaries flutter, Smoggies smoulder.

This was an intriguing and occasionally compelling contest between two hard-working sides with contrasting fortunes this season: Norwich, high flying in the Championship playoff places after last season's emphatic promotion from League 1, just snuck it ahead of Boro, the underachieving pre-season title favourites.

Following their unexpected midweek defeat to Crystal Palace, Norwich elected to drop their trademark diamond formation for a flat 4-4-2, with winger Antony McNamee surprisingly starting ahead of the Canaries' conductor last season, Wes Hoolahan. First choice centre-back Elliott Ward also made his return from a one-match suspension. Boro were the ones aiming to provide the sparkle in the centre of midfield with a defensively minded 4-3-1-2, precocious 17 year old Luke Williams drifting between Norwich's defensive and midfield lines. Boro captain Gary O'Neill started in an unusual position as carrilero on the left side of the diamond.


Approximate positions and movements of both sets of players in the first half. Note how O'Neil's forays forward and inside (the yellow line marking where he should be) effectively handed Norwich the right flank, leading to their winning goal.

All right first half (O'Neil gets homesick)

The main pattern of the game was established very early on in the first half. Thanks to their numerical advantage there, Boro found it easier to maintain possession in the centre, while Norwich found themselves having to work predominantly on the break. Norwich seemed fairly content in dealing with the threat Boro offered, tending to either win the ball or give away minor fouls high in their half before innocuous passes could emerge as more sinister attacks. With Leroy Lita and Kris Boyd well supervised by Elliott Ward and Leon Barnett, who both had fantastic games, one got the sense that Boro dictated the play while only occasionally exerting a threat on goal.

The movement of Luke Williams and Gary O'Neil presented the biggest concern for Norwich, but also their biggest outlet. Kevin Thomson remained deep (later, Richard Smallwood), and Nicky Bailey shuttled well, allowing Middlesbrough to retain the ball inside their half. Williams was often the player with the most room, waiting for service in the centre or drifting towards the right flank, providing width to Boro's midfield until their right-back Tony McMahon could overlap. The attacking intentions of McMahon and Bailey made Lappin, Fox and Steven Smith stay fairly deep. It was through Williams' influence that Boro gained some early corners, an O'Neil free-kick which Norwich keeper John Ruddy caught comfortably, and a long shot just wide of the post from Bailey. It was a mature performance from the youngster.

O'Neil, perhaps anxious as a right-footer on the left hand side, tended to move inwards into the space that Williams vacated. This made Boro lopsided, leaving Norwich with constant space on their right flank, and plenty of time to use it before O'Neil could get back and defend. Russell Martin got several key balls through to Simeon Jackson, and Andrew Crofts was a dynamic force in midfield, making charging runs from deep and unluckily striking the post after being left unmarked from a McNamee cross. Because of the sheer amount of time they were given down the right, Norwich were able to construct the better chances, and it was a move down this side which ultimately won them the game.

Anthony McNamee was Norwich's most direct player, with his constant runs at Matthew Bates on the counter-attack providing the most exciting moments of the match. Despite being left-footed, and consequently shown down the line by Bates numerous times, McNamee showed discipline in maintaining Norwich's width where O'Neil couldn't for Boro. His patience was ultimately rewarded. On the one occasion that McNamee really manufactured a chance to cut onto his stronger foot, he delivered an inswinging far post cross which the bustling Grant Holt slid to Jackson for a tap-in. Norwich deservedly led at half time.

More cautious second half

With Middlesbrough so vulnerable to Norwich counter-attacks in the first half, it was only natural that their caretaker boss Steve Agnew was going to make changes. Gary O'Neil was moved to his natural right side, while Nicky Bailey was now on the left man-marking McNamee when Boro didn't have the ball. Bailey's greater positional discipline worked in nullifying McNamee's threat, and he consequently faded out of the game. The match became more slower and more tense as a consequence.

Norwich's counters switched to the left, but Lappin, Smith and Fox were less effective at creating chances, and Norwich slowly dropped deeper in fear of conceding an equaliser. Middlesbrough continued to probe while still lacking cutting edge, despite replacing one SPL goal machine (Kris Boyd) with another (Scott McDonald). Ward and Bennett remained steadfast, and Grant Holt dropped deeper, committing in midfield in a bid not to be isolated - he seems a more than competent target man at this level.

Joe Bennett's introduction at left-back aimed to take advantage of the flagging McNamee and Norwich's increasing narrowness as Middlesbrough's full backs pressed forward. The defensive minded Korey Smith was brought on in McNamee's place, but it didn't prevent Boro from getting their best chance of the game in injury time, as Bailey found McDonald unmarked in Norwich's penalty area only for his shot to trickle wide. Half of Boro's team collapsed to the grass - they knew their chance for a point had gone.

Summary
Paul Lambert's brave decision to ditch the diamond and Hoolahan paid off as Norwich redeemed themselves for their midweek defeat with a disciplined defensive performance, particularly from their two centre backs. Reuniting Ward and Barnett after their regular partnership at Coventry last season demonstrates intelligent management on his part, as does his willingness to change system when required - the diamond is perhaps a better tactic to use when trying to control the game away from home rather than when trying to unlock stubborn visiting defences. Unless his team achieve an unexpected promotion, this highly promising manager probably won't remain in Norwich for too long.

Middlesbrough looked toothless up front, and their attempt to match Norwich's diamond did not play to the strengths of their captain O'Neil - less defensive responsibility should be placed on him. This lack of self-confidence ultimately cost them the game. They certainly have too much ability to be relegated from the Championship, but they need a new manager quickly if they are still going to enjoy anything near the promising season that many expected.