Things Joleon Lescott Acquired This Month


Jimi Hendrix's First Record Deal


Royal Wootton Bassett

Crown Jewels of Serbia

Michael Stipe


'Why Always Me?' T-Shirt


This month was a modest one for Joleon - the financial crisis in the euro-zone is having profound effects even on the super-super-super-rich. In the grip of such fear, Lescott managed to limit his spending to a mere £250,020,015 of his estimated £24.6bn monthly salary.


He plans to spend the next four weeks exploring his new Wiltshire dominion with his vegetarian indie-God man-servant.

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