Things Joleon Lescott Acquired This Month

The following is a fabrication, of course.

Diamond Encrusted iPad


Cast of Rodin’s Adam


Zeppelin NT02 Airship


Personal Effects of Mahatma Gandhi


Burundi


The Parliament of Norway Building


The value of Lescott’s September purchases totalled around £4.1 billion – a quarter of his income for the month.

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